Dear University of
Virginia,
Read my blog, and then
you'll see why I want to join your Center to study youth relationships with
peers and adults. Relationships matter. A lot. To me. And yeah, I do all this sex ed stuff, but really that's all about relationships, too. Seriously. You
can check out my bad-ass academic articles and all but still, read the blog. Connection, empathy, #feelings, love, community. I'm in.
With hope and an open
heart,
Miriam R. Arbeit, PhD
I emailed the above letter to my best friend, and went back
to writing a formal academic cover letter. My formal writing often flows better
if I simultaneously have a document open in which I can say exactly what I need
to say, on my own terms. Eventually, I crafted this:
My work thus far has
illustrated the barriers to connection that adolescents face at multiple levels
of the developmental system, including in their self-conceptions, in their
sexual or romantic relationships, in their family and peer relationships, in
the ways in which they are treated within youth-serving institutions (e.g.,
schools, health care), and in the messages they receive from their cultural
context. My next steps involve deepening my study of empathy and diversity
within youth-adult and peer relationships and across in-school and
out-of-school-time settings. For example, I want to examine how the
developmental process involved in building empathy may or may not be related to
other aspects of emotional and relational skill-building. I also want to
examine how youth and adults can form authentic and respectful connections
across social and structural differences, such as gender, race, and language. I
believe that these steps will support my future plans to do curriculum and
program development with school-based and out-of-school time programs to
promote youth thriving and facilitate safe, supportive, and fulfilling relationships
including but not limited to sexual and romantic relationships.
Huge shout-out to my amazing colleague-friends who gave me
job app edits. It still takes a village, even – or especially – at
age 30.
And now I get to study that village!
I will be a postdoctoral research fellow at Youth-Nex, the
UVa Center to Promote Effective Youth Development, directed by Patrick Tolan.
I’m working with Nancy Deutsch
and Amanda
Kibler on the study of youth development through interpersonal
relationships (hence the above rant). There are two main projects, and a bonus
pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Amanda Kibler’s project that I’ll be working on is Languages Across Borders: Building Positive
Cross-Linguistic and Cross-Cultural Networks in High School. It is aimed at promoting positive
development for youth who are English Language Learners through strengthening
their school-based relationships with peers. Nancy Deutsch’s project
that I’ll be working on is the Study
of Important Youth-Adult Relationships. It examines youth experiences
within relationships with important non-parental adults. Obviously if you want
to talk more about either of these projects, just let me know!
And oh, the pot of gold at the end of this already gorgeous
academic rainbow. Nancy Deutsch is collaborating with Futures without Violence and
the Harvard Law School
Gender Violence Program on a comprehensive training curriculum for
institutions of higher education to reduce and address sexual violence on
campus. So like, yes. That’s what
I’m trying to do. This is the work I
want to be doing in the world. Dare I repeat: Connection, empathy,
#feelings, love, community. I'm in. My heart is exploding with hope.
I now have a job and an apartment in a place I’ve never
actually been. But I hear it’s beautiful.
I’m moving next month. On my own… don’t worry, I’ll be
asking for lots of help. It’s taken several villages to get me this far, and I
may be physically leaving those particular villages for the time being, but I’m
a big fan of Facetime, and I’ve got lots of plans for finding new villages down
in Virginia. Did I
mention that I’m already on an email chain with the other postdocs at UVa’s Curry School of Education? A warm, welcoming
email chain. I’m so excited. I’m going to miss New
York, for real, and also I’m so excited.
Charlottesville, Virginia. Come visit!
Charlottesville, Virginia. Come visit!